The funny things that bring us together… diarrhea?

So the other day I found myself beaming proudly while the kids finally stopped fighting and were actually laughing and getting along. What provoked this rare moment in time? Diarrhea. You heard me. I never thought that I would be excited over something so disgusting in my life… but after a day of kicking, screaming and biting one another, I will gladly deal with a little bathroom blunder if it means my kids are getting along. This magical moment in time occurred on a Sunday afternoon…

Only one more block to go. I’m never running on a full stomach again. I don’t know if I can make it… maybe I should stop and walk. Nope. Definitely need to make it home. RIGHT. NOW. I rush through the front doors, fly past the kids and make a mad dash for the toilet. Phew. I made it. Anyone who is a runner can probably relate to needing to use a washroom and being 5 km away from one.

I make it out alive and the kids are already asking a million questions. ‘Why are you still wearing your shoes?’ ‘Why were you running in the house?’ ‘Why is the bathroom so stinky?’ I finally just break down and tell them, ‘Mommy has diarrhea.’ Oh my goodness. You would think I had just dressed up as a clown and pied someone in the face. The kids are hysterical. ‘Ha! Mom diarrhea’d in her pants! I’m going to tell the kids at school that my mom pooped her pants.’ After ensuring that doesn’t happen, I leave the room for a minute before I hear ‘Uh oh..’

Both kids now have the squirts. A family that craps together laughs together. I think I should get a bumper sticker with that made. Now the kids are furiously fighting over which toilet they are going to use. They each get settled and I toggle back and forth between the bathrooms. Despite the situation the kids are still laughing and are now singing the diarrhea song through the wall to each other (the two bathrooms actually share a wall so they can hear one another).

‘When you’re running in the hall and you feel something fall… diarrhea. diarrhea,’ James squeals hysterically.

‘When you feel a belly ache and you have to have a poo… diarrhea. diarrhea,’ Jocelyn replies (she hasn’t quite figured out the rhyming thing yet.)

This goes on for a half an hour until we are finally prepared to step away from the toilet. Although any normal person may cringe at the thought of dealing with two children with the the runs, I am more relieved than anything else. After a terrible day of fighting and feeling like a referee, the kids are not just getting along… they are laughing and supporting one another. They are actually working together to figure out how they are going to embarrass me about almost pooping my pants on my run.

So I guess the moral of the story is, you never know what disgusting moments are going to bring you closer together. What may seem like the worst scenario ever, could end up being a memory that your kids are going to look back on forever and laugh. Or, better yet, it will make for a wonderful story at their weddings. So the next time you are at your wits ends and ready to go off the deep end… just know that there may be one of these rare moments of insanity that might just bring you back from the edge. After all… doesn’t the diarrhea song make everything better?

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