There’s no perfect recipe for raising kids…

baking mom

photo credit: Sarahnaut via photopin cc

With so much hype these days surrounding the mommy wars, I thought it only fitting to write a post on the perfect recipe for raising children. Alright, so anyone who’s been following for a while will know that there is a huge side of sarcasm with that line. Of course there’s no perfect recipe for raising kids… what works for me I can guarantee you probably won’t translate well for any other mom. It’s because it’s MY perfect recipe and no one else’s. Sure, I’m willing to share my secret card with other moms, but realistically all my tips and tricks relate to the chaos and dynamics of my family.

So why are we all trying to follow the exact recipe in a desperate attempt to end up with a perfect loaf of ‘best mom ever’? I’m sure that we all have our own recipes for brownies, banana bread and gravy… so why can’t we have the same different approaches to feeding, disciplining and caring for our children? I feel like we are trying so hard to do everything the ‘right’ way, that we forget that sometimes doing things a little differently might just provide us with that secret ingredient we’ve been searching for.

As a new mom I was determined to follow all the rules and guidelines perfectly and in turn I expected that I would have a perfectly well balance happy household. I read every book, listened to ALL the advice of other moms… and then failed miserably and certainly didn’t end up with my perfect loaf of ‘happily ever after’. It wasn’t until I had a mommy revelation that I began to lift my head from the fog. Our family is different from everyone else’s. We have different personalities, schedules, opinions, and likes/dislikes. I hated many things about motherhood that other moms beamed about. I enjoyed doing things that other moms complained about.

Everyday I’m reading a new article on what is the ‘best way’ to do this, that or the other. It’s comical really. I would love to get the specialists that are constantly coming up with new studies and statistics every damn week to come for a visit. Could you imagine the results of that study? Honestly some of these studies are so ridiculous I’m not even going to try to explain why you should ignore them. No wonder moms are constantly trying to do everything the ‘right’ way. We’ve all been led to believe that if we don’t follow the guidelines, our children will end up constantly sick, having smaller brains and potentially end up on America’s most wanted.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, the studies and statistics don’t really have much premise on my perfect recipe for raising kids.

So to wrap it all up, if you have a recipe that works that’s great. If not, throw out that card and start with a clean one. Seriously… only a mother knows what the right ingredients, the perfect temperature and ideal amount of blending a family needs. Let’s stop trying to all mimic what we think will crown us as the ‘best mom ever’, and simply create our own batch of ‘whatever freaking works’. To all you moms out there that have ever tried to follow a perfect recipe for motherhood… know that sometimes we all just need to find our own special ingredients.

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