Jealousy, Judgment and everything in between.

I am a very honest person. There is very little that I keep from my readers, and that is why it’s sometimes hard to write… because the truth isn’t always pretty. I recently discovered that I am guilty of judging some of my closest mom friends. Why? Because they go on childless vacations.

Before I go any further, I need to apologize. It’s so much better if I apologize first I think. I’m sorry to all my friends out there who I secretly judged because they enjoyed a vacation without your children. I really didn’t even know that I was being so  judgmental. I would hear about their great vacations or see photos of the carefree days and think, ‘how is it possible they were able to do that?’. I wondered how they could take the leap of faith and leave their kids. I figured they just didn’t worry as much as I did or perhaps they were less attached to their children. I realize now that this was just my own jealousy coming out in its ugliest form.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never say or do anything to show my judgement, but I knew deep down, that I thought that I must be a better mother because I never went away… ever. It takes a lot to admit you are wrong. And it sucks to have to confess that I judged anyone that I love and care about. But the reality is… we make mistakes. The first step to making them right, is to admit you were wrong.

I realized that I had mistakenly judged as a result of my jealousy these last few months. I have a big birthday coming up and my husband bought me a ticket to see a friend in Ireland. It will be my first trip away in six years (before I got pregnant with my oldest son). I will be travelling solo (without my family that is) for one whole week! I will miss them terribly, but I am so excited to go and feel like this trip is long overdue. Knowing how I feel now was what made me realize how jealous I was of my mommy friends that had been given this same luxury.

So, the next time you feel that little devil on your shoulder saying ‘you’re a better mother because…’, toss that little bugger to the side. I am embarrassed to say that I judged some of my closest mommy friends, but like anything else, I myself am a work in progress. I can now say that I will never judge another mom for enjoying a solo vacation. So if you know another mom who will be going on a mommy vacation, tell her to enjoy herself. We all know how hard us moms work, the least we can do is be happy that another mom is getting some R&R. And if you’ve ever judged another mom, take the first step… admit you were wrong and forge ahead with the mission to support and encourage one another. I leave this coming monday, and hope that by the time I get back my mommy friends will have forgiven me and maybe even scheduled our next trip away together.

Comments

Jealousy, Judgment and everything in between. — 4 Comments

  1. I went on my first away trip without kids and it was wonderful. I was kind of judge-y about this too until I had 3 kids and now I crave alone time like never before. I hope you have an amazing trip!! I’m so jealous. Have fun!!!

    • Thanks! I am packing as we speak. I am feeling a little guilty as my daughter is begging me not to go, but I’m sure I’ll feel better once I have a pint or two!

  2. I would lose my mind if my husband and I didn’t get to take vacations without the kids. It’s not only good for us as individuals it’s good for our marriage as well. I just wish we could more often. 🙂

    • I definitely lose my mind. I feel blessed that I’m finally getting to go away. I just wish my hubby and I could get away together. Maybe now that the kids are getting a bit older it will be a bit easier.