When you can’t see the Forest for the Trees

My name is Shana and I am a twenty something { or at least I will be for the next week or so } who is a new Mommy to a very spunky little lady named Norah. I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember and although I do truly love it, I openly admit it is very different from what I thought! I started in the blogging world when I was planning my wedding a few years ago and quickly switched to a motherhood/lifestyle focus once the honeymoon dust had settled. If you would like to come and visit, you can find me over here : http://www.shetheblog.com . I love to share my “lived and learned” experiences and hope that you might find something helpful that makes your life a little simpler. Let’s face it, this motherhood thing isn’t easy but it is pretty darn amazing!

Recently I was visiting with a friend whose baby just turned two months old. I could see that look in her eyes as she sat in my living room. I know that look well. I had that look. I still have that look somedays. It is the what on earth did I just get myself into look.  It is that I can’t see the forest for all these trees look. It is the new mom look.

It prompted me to write this post and share what I wish I could say to every new Mom out there and what I wish I could have made myself hear in those early days.

To the new Mom,

It is going to be okay. Not only is it going to be okay but you are doing a good job.

There are probably going to be tears.  You will cry in frustration, fear and a million other emotions that you never knew you could feel. It is okay to cry. We teach our children that it is okay to express what they are feeling and it is okay for you to do it as a Mom. Let go and remember you do not have to be perfect at this. Although you may not feel like it, you are already amazing because you love you little one enough to keep trying and wanting to do better. There may be times when you feel like you can’t go on. When the tiredness goes beyond the physical and into the emotional and you wonder if you have anything left to give. You do and you will. The beginning of motherhood is a amazing and difficult time filled with so much love and excitement combined with doubt and wonder of how things are ever going to feel normal again. Your life is not over, nor will it ever be the same. Everyday find a little something good that happened. Repeat this to yourself : every day is a new day. That love that you already feel is only going to get stronger and before long they will be able to show you how much they love you in return.

Ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness. You are not expected to know everything the day that they hand you your baby. Help may be asking someone to hold the little one while you take a shower. A shower can make you feel like a new women. Help might be sharing what you are feeling. Having someone relate to you helps you realize that you are not alone and reminds you that you don’t have to feel guilty for what you are feeling or struggling with. A cup of tea will always help as well { even more so if you have some chocolate with it}

 

Take that extra minute to kiss your little one and snuggle them when they need it and try your best to be patient when they cry for longer then we would like to mention.  Motherhood is about learning that no matter how you feel, you have control over how you react and that is what makes the world of difference. It’s that first time when you go into their room and they smile because you came to get them when all the rough stuff  will just melt away. Your little one thinks you are a wonderful mother and that is all that matters.

 Lastly, new Mom remember to be gentle with yourself. You will make it through the trees and see the forest in no time.

xoxo,

Now it is your turn my lovely readers, what do you wish you could say to a new mom out there or to yourself reflecting back on those early days?

Comments

When you can’t see the Forest for the Trees — 2 Comments

  1. Not to let everyone scare you. I walked in to parenthood petrified. It’s a beautiful time and they are only tiny and sweet for so long. Soak it in and shut everyone else out!