My 15-month old just fell off the couch.

Meredith_and_kidsMeredith is a native Texan, recovering perfectionist, and mama to 3 kids living in Utah. She has been blogging for over 5 years, but just recently decided to make her blog public and get real about motherhood. Her tag line is “far from perfect, but blogging about it anyway”. Because that is exactly what she wants to do. Her goal is to be honest and not just blog all the happy, pretty moments. You can find her over at Faking Picture Perfect.

There is something I would have never admitted 6 years ago when I became a Mom and
the same exact thing happened to my first-born daughter. I remember, I was mortified. I
had feelings of guilt in my head like, “You are such a horrible mom!” and “Why weren’t
you just watching?” and “You are so stupid to put her on the couch”.

I also cried the first time I cut her fingernails when she was just a few weeks old and I
accidentally cut her. I cried a lot in those first few months of her life. Later,
when she was about four months old and I magically felt better, I realized that I had been
suffering from Post-Partum Depression. If only I had a mama friend at the time to say to
me, “It’s going to be OK. We all make mistakes. It will get better.”

But, truth be told. I still cry a lot. I’m not suffering from PPD anymore, but motherhood
is no joke. And, although some things I feel like I have down and mastered, like
breastfeeding in public, and feeding three kids at a restaurant (wait. That last one is a lie),
I cry because motherhood has me on my toes every. single. day.

With each new stage, comes a new challenge. I never thought I’d be talking about
bullying issues in Kindergarten. But, I was. I never thought I would have kids with
complex food allergies, but I do. I never thought I would be able to handle three kids, but
I’m still alive. Sometimes, I feel like it is just barely, but I’m alive, people. I’m muddling
my way through motherhood every single day. Some days, I excel. Some days, I cry
myself to sleep.

Truth be told, I don’t think any of us have it completely together. And, if you are looking
at a Mom and you think she does, just think again.

I had a friend tell me once that I made being a Mom to three kids look so easy. I laughed
almost a little too maniacally. I felt so not together that her comment really
made me laugh. But, I had perfected one thing. Faking it. And, now I’m on a mission to
stop myself from faking it. I’m tired of showing all the perfect moments. I want to be real.
But, let me let you in on a little secret. It’s hard.

Because being real means…

Swallowing your pride and saying you need help.

It means being open about your feelings even if they hurt someone else’s feelings.

It means sometimes saying no.

It means accepting that you have faults and forgiving yourself.

It means being as nice to yourself as you are to your friends.

It means owning up to the fact that you just screwed up royally and then moving on.

It means letting someone see your house messy.

It means sharing your whole self with someone, not just the parts that you want people to
see.

It means not trying to keep up with the mom that does seem “perfect”.

It means letting go of the image in your head of what kind of mom you should be.

It means looking at another mom and seeing her for who she might be on the
inside.

I could sit here and write all day about the mistakes I’ve made as a Mom. I have 3 kids
and all 3 have fallen off the couch. So, there. You’d think I would have learned, right?
But, some days we are just on survival mode.

But, should this get us depressed? That perfection is impossible, and we are never going
to get it right? I don’t think so.

I read an article once called, “When You Feel Inadequate As a Mother” that shared this
quote, “We all seem to measure ourselves by what we see in others, and that’s others at
their best, scrubbed and polished physically and emotionally. Yet we judge ourselves by
how we feel when we’re at our worst. Consequently, we’re sure to come out on the short
end of the stick, always inadequate.”

Let’s just stop comparing. Stop trying to live up to. Stop trying to perfect this thing that
is impossible to perfect. There is no right way or wrong way to do things when you’re
a Mom. So, stop pretending that there is. We are evolving and changing every single
day. We are screwing up, starting over, and resolving to do better tomorrow. We are
imperfect. And that’s OK.

Comments

My 15-month old just fell off the couch. — 13 Comments

  1. As the saying goes, “The grass is greener on the other side”. We always assume everyone else is managing just fine and we’re the ones who are not! Your article is a great eye opener!

  2. Pingback: Tell Another Mom-My First Guest Post | Faking Picture Perfect

  3. Both of my kids fell off the bed, which is a lot higher than the couch. My son jumped out of his crib at 2 years old and knocked his two front teeth out resulting in a scene that replays in my nightmares often. We all make mistakes, it’s admitting them that moves us closer to perfection.

  4. So true! I always hope my kids don’t remember my worst days when they’re adults. Because I do have some awesome days, and some average days to even it out, I’m usually willing to give myself a pass. And yes, both my boys have fallen off the bed. (Head smack)

  5. What a great post! I have an 11-month-old little girl and I finally came to the realization that it is OK to accept help from others. I’ve always been an independent person, so this was a really big shift for me. Just recently, I flew across the country with my little girl to visit my parents. My husband was not able to come with me, so it was just me and the baby. Other people who were flying offered me help and I I accepted their help. I know the trip would have been pretty rough for me if I told them, “No, I can do this myself.”

  6. My favorite thing about blogs is that it allows us to talk about our insecurities, struggles and screw-ups! Saw you on “Marriage, Motherhood and Madness’s” Facebook page. Look forward to reading more of your blog! 🙂

  7. Tripped up the basement stairs while holding my young son who was chewing on a toothbrush.. Lots of blood, I didn’t have the guts to investigate further so called another mom with older kids, she rushed over in her pjs to check further and reassure me I wasn’t a horrible mom… Called her again ( and the poison control line) a few months later when I found the empty vitamin bottle… All ended well — vitamin D, Life happens to all us. Yes we need to lean on others and not rip each other down. 🙂