‘Too Posh to Push.’ Really?

Looking back on both of my pregnancies, I really don’t remember too many details. It wasn’t that long ago (our kids are 3 & 5), yet there are really only a few moments that stick out in my head. I remember when I found out I was pregnant, having morning sickness, feeling that first kick, attending my baby showers… and oh yes, the time another mommy seriously asked me if I was ‘too posh to push?’

Here’s the thing… when you are pregnant, you often wait long tedious hours in the office of an ob/gyn for your prenatal checkups. During this time, you get to experience moms telling you the following :

1. How amazing they are.
2. How little weight they have put on.
3. Their awful previous birthing story.
4. Every detail of their upcoming birth plan
5. How painful ___________ is / will be. (you can only imagine how many spots this one could take up )
6. Whether or not they will get an epidural.

To be honest, I kind of expected all of this. So every week/month I would put on my mommy armour and go to battle with the other mommies. What really caught me off guard was when another mother snottily asked me if I was, ‘Too posh to push?’ in a tone that words simply cannot describe. I was scheduled for a c-section for my daughter by choice. Being that my son was previously a caesarean, I was given the choice whether or not I wanted to deliver naturally. For me, it was a simple decision to choose the c-section. I didn’t have an awful labour with my son, but nothing seemed to want to get that kid out and I had enough feedback from doctors and nurses that made me believe that the second time around would not be any different.

So now I’m posh? That’s hilarious. In any other context I may have taken this as a compliment, but certainly not in this case. As I sat with my stretchy sweatpants, zip up fleece and bright pink crocs on… I realized that this woman was not confused with me being ‘posh’. She was just plain mean.

I couldn’t believe that this mother was going to honestly sit next to me and assume that I only had my best interest in mind. You may be thinking, ‘oh, she was just trying to be funny’… I can assure you this was not the case. I was so caught off guard that I managed to stutter through an explanation as to why I had chosen a caesarean. Really? Why did I need to explain myself at all? As mothers, is it not OUR decision (and maybe our partners), as to how we are going to bring our children into this world.

Have we as mothers honestly become so competitive that we are willing to cast judgment on someone else’s birthing choice. Why can we not just realize that we all have different needs and circumstances? No matter how we choose to bring our children into this world, we should all be given a serious pat on the back. Regardless of if we deliver naturally or by caesarean, have a doctor or a midwife, or opt for pain medications… childbirth is an achievement in itself.

Next time… just tell another mom ‘good luck’.

Shortly after my scheduled c-section for my daughter.

Shortly after my scheduled c-section for my daughter.

Comments

‘Too Posh to Push.’ Really? — 12 Comments

  1. I have had 6 c/sections starting at the end of the 80’s, then in the 90’s, the 2000’s and now in the 2000 teens. There is nothing to be said that we don’t go through a different kind of pain, and it usually lasts longer. I am not sure where people think one way is easier than another. If anything, I think it is better for the baby to be born by c/section.

    • I totally agree with you Linda. My second c-section was pretty smooth, but my first was actually quite painful and took a while to recover. The main thing is that we brought wonderful healthy children into this world. Thanks for stopping by!!

  2. You are totally not the “posh” type (and mean that in very good way) you are by far the must humble, honest, kind hearted person I know. Judgement comes easy to those you have little to no self-esteem or too vain to realize how rude they are really being. I never experienced a c-section but did things totally different with each of my children. One I used every drug known to ease the pain, formula fed…while the other was 100% all natural (not by choice) and breast fed. (Breast feeding is another “judgmental” discussion) After doing both births totally different, I can personally say its not about a personal benefits but the benefit of the child them self. I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I am sure you wouldn’t either. No one should judge until they are in the shoes of the individual!

    • Absolutely Trish. Every pregnancy, delivery and child is different. Do you get a chance to read the article ‘Breast is best…but for who?’ I found the breastfeeding to be the most judgemental issue I have come across so far!!

      • No but I plan on it. It was actually the pressure that was the ultimate deciding factor for me with my first to NOT breast feed. My second was 100% last minute decision I made all on my own.

        I can’t say one is better then the other. Each time it was “meant to be”

        People should really worry less about what others decide is best in their situation and more on their own life/family

  3. RUDE!! Where do people get off? I would not dare say anything like that to another woman (even if I was thinking it…which I wouldn’t be, but still). However anyone wants to get that baby out, is entirely fine by me!! As long as I don’t have to do it. 😉

  4. Too posh to push? That is ridiculous. My sister had a similar situation with her first birth, and when she tried to opt for a c-section the second time they made her try it naturally. Some women just aren’t built to give birth naturally, and this isn’t helped by smug so-and-sos who feel that you are a failure if you don’t do it their way. I hope you didn’t come across too many other jerks during your pregnancy, it’s that kind of narrow minded attitude that can cause real problems for pregnant women everywhere.

    • Totally in agreement with you there Erin. I didn’t come across to many more comments like this one. But the amount of response I’ve gotten from this article, makes me feel like perhaps many women have encountered the same thing I did. Ridiculous isn’t it?

    • I often think that perhaps I shouldn’t wear my crocs out in public anymore, as to not make others feel jealous. LOL! I totally agree with the ‘say nothing’ philosophy.