You’re Pregnant? Let the judgment begin…

I’ll never forget how excited I was when I found out that my husband and I were pregnant with our first child. I had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into, nor did I have any idea that I indeed required mommy armour. Yes, some sort of protection against the criticism, judgement and competitive craze that was to come. I guess I expected a bit of this, but I sure wasn’t prepared for the whirlwind of emotional warfare that comes from other moms. I thought I was joining this wonderful secret world of motherhood where we would all offer each other help and guidance. Yes…I know, I must have been drunk or on some really good medication.

The months before I gave birth was when I realized that I indeed needed to toughen up before I continued this journey, otherwise I was going to get eaten alive. Have you ever noticed that other moms will always tell you what they think of you or what you’re doing in a question format. ‘You’re not getting an epidural are you?’ or ‘Why would you want to deliver naturally?’. Or better yet, they tell you why you’d be crazy not to do exactly what they did, ‘I breastfed for the whole year, it was wonderful. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t breastfeed…it’s the best thing for your baby’. Right, I get it, all mothers think that they are the best at what they do and no one could possibly be as good a mom as they are.

For us, things didn’t go exactly as planned. I was planning on having a natural childbirth, but eventually demanded an epidural and then ended up having a c-section. But I thought the only thing that mattered was that we had a healthy baby boy in our arms. I had no idea that this wonderful moment in my life would become bait for mommy monsters to attack. Right away I got comments like ‘I thought you were delivering naturally?’ and ‘don’t you think you should have tried harder before getting the c-section?’. The list goes on.

I know that maybe some moms don’t even realize how their making other mothers feel. But then again I’m sure some do. And I’m sure I too have made comments that belittle other mothers. But this is where all that changes. I from now on will always TELL ANOTHER MOM that she has done an amazing job bringing a life into this world. I will TELL ANOTHER MOM that she has done a wonderful job providing for her unborn child for almost ten months, cause lets face it, building a baby is hard work. I will TELL ANOTHER MOM that only she can decide what is best for her and her baby and that what anyone else thinks really doesn’t matter.


Comments

You’re Pregnant? Let the judgment begin… — 5 Comments

  1. hugs! THIS …

    “I from now on will always TELL ANOTHER MOM that she has done an amazing job bringing a life into this world. I will TELL ANOTHER MOM that she has done a wonderful job providing for her unborn child for almost ten months, cause lets face it, building a baby is hard work. I will TELL ANOTHER MOM that only she can decide what is best for her and her baby and that what anyone else thinks really doesn’t matter.”

    …IS just so much love Mama.

  2. I still haven’t brought myself to blog about bringing my first baby into the world – I planned to have a natural birth as well and then she ended up flipping the day before I went into labor on a Sunday and there was no way to even try an eversion because I was already in active labor. I ended up with a C-section I didn’t want and a baby in the NICU for 5 days. I was lucky to have a lot of support, but there were lots of comments and knowing looks when I didn’t “pull off” my natural birth. And breastfeeding in the hospital!?!?! I’ve never had so many people telling me what to do and how to do it in my life and all of it contradicted :( Thank goodness for the love of my husband and my mother (who did her job of TELL ANOTHER MOM well!!!!

    • So often life doesn’t go as planned. I’m glad it all worked out and you did have some support from family. I have a great post coming up on ‘Breast is best…but for who?’. Stay tuned. thanks!

  3. Pingback: Breast is best… but for who? | Tell Another Mom

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